THE LYCEUM (GIRLS CAMPUS)

 

 

   
 
 

Q: Why do we drink cokes?

A: Because we can’t eat it.

Q: What goes up but never comes down?

A: Age

Q: What was Shakespeare before he died?

A: alive

Q: Why is Europe slippery?

A: Because it has Greece.

Q: What do you call a dog on fire?

A: A hot dog.

Q: What do you call a peanut in outer space?

A: An astronaut.

Q: Why did the boy throw butter out of the window?

A: Because he wanted to see a butterfly?

Q: What starts with t, ends with t and is filled with it?

A: A teapot.

Hurrain Malik

XIC

 

Wonderful brain

The brain is a wonderful organ it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and doesn’t stop until you get into the office.

Busy

No matter how busy I am, I’m never too busy to stop and complain about how busy I am.

  • I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go on our anniversary?”

She said, “Somewhere I’ve never been”

I told her, “How about the kitchen?”

  • A sardarji pulled 6 people from a burning house… still he was jailed…. Why?

        Because all the 6 were fire brigade staff.

  • Teacher: I wish you would pay a little attention!

      Students: I’m paying as little as I can sir!

  • What do you call a wife who is beautiful, intelligent, understanding, caring, never jealous and who has great sense of humour?

          A dream!

 Aniqa Rehman

VIII

 Pakistani Cricket team Kidnapped

 A man is caught in a traffic jam, when suddenly some one taps on the window of his car. He lowers the window and asks what he wants. The man says, “The Pakistani cricket team has been kidnapped and the ransom is 50 million dollars”. If the ransom is not paid, the kidnappers have threatened to douse the team with petrol and set them on fire. We are collecting money do you wish to contribute? The man in the car asks, “on average what are people donating?” the other man replies, “About 5 – 10 litres!”

 Notice

 If you notice the board you will find a notice about not noticing this notice on the notice board but if notice this notice properly on the notice board you will notice it is the same you noticed yesterday on the notice board.

Fatima Amjad

VIII

 Q: How does an elephant come down from the tree?

A: It stands on a leaf and waits for autumn.

Q: What has six legs and two heads?

A: A horse and rider

 

Teacher: What’s the shortest month of the year?

A: May is only got 3 letters.

Teacher: Spell mouse

A: Mous

Teacher: But what’s at the end of it?

A: A tail

 

Q: Do you make seven an even number?

A: Take the S off.

Q: What are the difference when a chicken die or a man dies?

A: When a man dies he goes in the grave and when a chicken dies it goes in gravy.

Sherlock homes and his friend Dr. Watson go on a camping trip set up thing tent and fall asleep. Some hours later Holmes wakes his faithful friend. “Watson, loop up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

Watson replies. “I see millions of stars”.

What does that tell you? Asks Sherlock Holmes.

Dr. Watson ponders for a minute. “Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately quarter past three. Theologically, it’s evident that lord is all powerful and we are small and in significant. Metro logically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What else does it tell you?

Holmes remained silent for a moment. Then said: “Watson you idiot, some one has stolen our tent!”

Naima Raza

XC